I’m back with the virtue of beauty again, this time looking at a beautiful presence, with home and garden to go before moving onto the next virtue.

Virtue	Sub-projects	Explanation
beauty I take care of my physical wellbeing and surroundings. I live the authentic me.	body	Taking care of my body: diet, exercise, taking my medicines
	presence	Developing a “look” or style that indicates who I am, e.g. tiger stripes telling people to tread carefully!
	home	Creating a comfortable, happy, cheerful, welcoming and calm home that reflects who we are right now
	garden	Constructing a lush garden for summer shade, winter storm protection, food production and mystical defence

My last post dealt with a beautiful body, and today we’ll be looking at a beautiful presence.

Planning for a Beautiful Presence

My notion of a beautiful presence comes via the notion of command presence.  As Sassinak explains it:

“the room was empty except for this little old lady in the corner, looked like the kind of retirement-age warrant officers that swarmed all around the Academy, doing various jobs no one ever explained… Then this little old lady gets up. Nobody saw that; we figured she was taking roll. Walks around to the front, and we thought maybe she was going to tell us the Admiral was late or not coming… not one of us saw her stars until she wanted us to, when she changed right there in front of us without moving a muscle. Didn’t say a word. Didn’t have to. We were out of our seats and saluting before we realized what had happened… she gave us a big bright smile, and said ‘That, ladies, was a demonstration of command presence.’ And then she walked out, while we were still breathless…  She said it all: it’s not your size or your looks or your strength or how loud you can yell—it’s something else, inside, and if you don’t have that, no amount of size, strength, beauty, or bellowing will do instead.”

Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Moon, from The Generation Warriors

I deduce that this “something else inside” is the authentic self that so many of us try to hide. And we do that by following the herd and trying to fit in rather than simply being who we are.

We wear the “right” clothes and we say the “right” things, but inside we are Anne Robinson thinking “You are the weakest link – goodbye.”

Or is that just me?

So this authentic self is initially observed through personal presentation, or a beautiful presence; through our clothes, hair and makeup. People look at us and make assumptions about who we are, and they allocate us a sort of social value that determines how much thought and effort they will put into us.

And then we speak or act, and sometimes that clashes with how we look, and they’re gobsmacked, not knowing how to respond.

The stereotypical blonde bimbo/gym junkie who is well informed with strong political opinions perhaps. Or the bohemian in flowing skirts and tops who is acerbic and critical. The Personal Assistant who dresses better than the person they work for, or on the other side of the equation an undiscovered Richard Branson or Mark Zuckerberg.

I’ll tell you a secret – I reread the book around about this time last year, so I’ve been thinking about this for while already. Poor Katy – I’ve driven her mad with my ruminations on authentic selves and beautiful presences.

For me it starts with dropping two dress sizes post-transplant. I was packing my clothes to donate to charity and I realised I had thousands of dollars’ worth of brand new unworn clothing…

And I thought I had to replace every single piece, so I bought replacements without a plan (or clue) and within a year had discarded almost two-thirds of that; thousands of dollars of slightly worn clothing for charity…

And then Aunty Kate bought me a new “wardrobe” – twelve items of clothing, yet not one matched another let alone formed a cohesive wardrobe.

I thought there had to be a better way, so I thought about my authentic self, my beautiful presence, and how people reacted to me, and gave myself some guidelines:

• a budget (5% of income) to cover clothing, accessories, makeup and alterations
• a colour palette (black, white, red, blue) so all my clothes would match each other and I could randomly pull clothes from my wardrobe and they would look fine together
• my clothes should be wearable throughout the year (I live in a relatively mild climate)
• wear classic styles so each item could be worn in different contexts and at different occasions.
• good quality clothes (and accessories) in woven fabrics made from natural fibres
• a replacement schedule

So, my goal for this area, is to stick to the guidelines and continue to build a practical and workable wardrobe that reflects who I am.

By the way, my shopping spree and loud dressing were fun (sort of) and I’d encourage anyone in a similar situation ([re]discovering who they are) to give themselves permission to go a bit nuts too, but to set a firm limit on how much they can spend.

Next time, we’ll look at beauty in the home.

---

This beautiful presence of some of the many faces of Alexandria.

---

This notion of beautiful presence, and the research for it, were the genesis of my book Signature Wardrobe Planning. I put all my wardrobe plans and reviews on that page.

For more, see my wardrobe planning page.

Presence Signature Wardrobe Strategic Purchasing